Patton Ouch-walt*

I'm feeling pretty bad for Patton Oswalt right now. I'm a big fan (no pun intended): I've listened to some of his comedy routines dozens of times and they still make me laugh; his Spence Olchin on The King of Queens remains one of TV's greatest lovable losers; Ratatouille is one of my favorite Pixar films.

But this guy just cannot catch a break lately. First came the news that Megan Mullally tried to get him booted from his Broadway debut in Lips Together, Teeth Apart. Now comes word that he's been replaced in the sitcom he was to star in alongside Matthew Broderick, called Beach Lane.

I don't know a thing about Beach Lane, but I do know that a new sitcom starring Patton Oswalt gets added to my "must watch" list, and one without him pretty much fades into obscurity along with all of the others that aren't Modern Family, 30 Rock, and Always Sunny.

So, hurray for my life that I have 30 more minutes available to me. But a great big un-hooray for a television lineup that fails to fulfill the recommended daily allowance of Patton Oswalt.

* Yes, I know: the title's too clever by half. I was desperate, okay?

King Conan

Okay, let me see if I have this straight:

NBC floats the idea to bump Conan O'Brien back half-an-hour for Jay Leno, and this means Jay Leno is Satan and NBC execs his drooling demonic underlings. Conan O'Brien bumps George Lopez back an hour and he's still THE GREATEST GUY IN THE WORLD EVER.

Yeah, he's THE GREATEST GUY IN THE WORLD EVER to bump two other late-night hosts from their perches. Let's all hurry up and root for this swell guy, shall we?

Michael v. Tobias

Still not sure an Arrested Development movie is a good idea; there's a lot to be said for leaving well enough alone. But I suppose it's good news that Jason Bateman thinks David Cross jumped the gun by saying the flick wouldn't happen.

BTW: That show's the best thing about the Netflix streaming service. I have all three seasons in my queue and can just jump in there whenever and catch an episode or two. Or three. It soothes the never-nude in me.

My first Chris Parnell post

Man, I cannot escape late night, can I? Let's knock these down right quick:

• I'd love to see Conan's touring show, but it's not coming to my town.
• Jay and Dave are close now, but Jay will pull ahead -- and stay ahead -- within four months.
• I still like Jimmy Fallon.

Lazy Sunday, live. Chris Parnell FTW.

Parnell is criminally underutilized in Hollywood. Dr. Spaceman is great and all, but this man deserves a weekly sitcom. Do something about that, won't you?

All a-twitter

It happened a few days ago, but I just saw this particular headline:

Conan joins Twitter, beats Leno in hours

Ha! Take that, Jay! You may have won back your Tonight Show perch -- a feat more rare than winning back the heavyweight championship of the world -- but Conan has more Twitter followers!

ESPN's dirty laundry problem

I don't know if I agree or disagree with Tony Kornheiser's criticism of Hannah Storm's outfit. I know nothing about fashion and would wander the streets in a t-shirt and jeans all day if I could.

That said, it's funny how the powers that be at ESPN aren't okay with Kornheiser's criticism, but are perfectly fine with exploiting high school athletes for television ratings.

Self-regurgitation, more likely

No, it isn't related to pop culture, but the public dissemination of 911 calls is a ... well, calling it a pet peeve of mine makes it seem too light and fluffy. Let's just say I abhor the practice of releasing the things. Outside of extraordinary circumstances, that should never happen.

MSNBC.com has an article up about the issue, and I literally laughed out loud when I read the following:

"[David] Cuillier, a professor at Arizona State University's School of Journalism, said the answer is better self-regulation by the media."

You're unlikely to find a bigger fan of journalism than me (among other things, I did make the effort to actually get a degree in the field), but the idea of today's media self-regulating is simply -- and distressingly -- laughable.